If… there were Super Hero Recruiters

We’re always on the lookout for tools to put in the everyday recruiter’s armoury – we even write about it in our Recruiter Hacks series.

Some of you might have seen this action figure doing the rounds some time ago for the “Super Recruiter.”

Super Recruiter

Note the add-ons available to help you out.

It got me thinking. Let’s say by day you were an ordinary recruiter. Going about your day job, under the radar, untraceable, undefinable. Let’s also say, for the sake of the analogy, you lived in… oh I don’t know… Gotham City.

But…

By night you turned into a Super Recruiter. A Caped Crusader if you will.

Filling the jobs others couldn’t. Fighting low standards, impossible job specs, and candidate blow-ups.

Just like another Gotham resident, you have no super powers per se, just the most heightened sense of skills and agile abilities honed over a long career.

Due to an exceptionally rewarding early commission scheme you were on in the eighties (when no one thought 35% was ‘over the odds’) you now have unlimited finances. The eighties. When the recruitment industry was like the Wild West. The candidate pools were full of gold and those toting the biggest Filofax ruled the ranch.

Herd Cats

You haven’t quite reached billionaire status, but are certainly financially fluid.

This financial freedom has awarded the capacity for a mansion out of town and a private underground lair to store all your stuff (wine).

You also have a helpful butler-cum-researcher – who has abilities outside of the norm and contacts in the industry.

So given you’re wealth, power and new-found responsibility…

What makes the armoury?

  • AWR – (Automated Web Release) Large candidate net springing from your belt
  • PSL – (Preferred Selection Lasso – see above) – for HOT candidate selection from aforementioned net
  • A trusty steed who drinks only this stuff  (also has a long neck so he can eat grass from the other side of the fence and tell candidates what it’s like) Power Horse
  • Grapple hook – Can see whether that CEO is actually ‘NAD’ (I’ve also always just wanted a grapple hook!)
  • Access to ham radio and breakdown recovery databases from all over the world – for sudden candidate car breakdowns prior to interview. Note to self: Legit business idea for recruiters? Mobile app? 
  • Phone which definitely gets answered on each and every outbound call. Doesn’t even ring!
  • Custom database with Interpol plug-in (anyone in the world has their details reachable)

Batcomputer

  • Lie Detector/Polygraph Machine – (buy desk light from Ikea for extra effect)
  • X-Ray glasses/Google glasses that bring up information on new clients – (with Charlie implemented) 
  • Boomerang to grab candidates who walk away from job offers at the end of the process
  • Recruit-Signal (different to the BatSignal) – used for candidates to see live jobs, quicker than an email or phonecall

Bat signal job

  • Rolls Royce Phantom, (remote controlled) to make sure candidates actually arrive to their interviews – and in style
  • Recruit-Copter. For candidates who are relocating abroad.
  • Shark Repellent Spray – irradiates all the recruitment sharks in the nearby vicinity stealing your candidates/jobs/deals

Batman Shark

  • ATS – Applicant Tracking System (Micro-chipped business cards) – “Hi Sue? Yeah, that’s Wetherspoons, not your interview location”
  • Kryptonite Gloves – To “push back” on every other recruiter who thinks they’re SuperMan/Woman.
  • Fly sized listening drone – for finding out budget restraints, candidate rejection reasons etc.
  • Golden Handcuffs – so every candidate stays for their notice period.

Golden Handcuffs

  • Oh… and full body and ego armour – for whenever you’re on LinkedIn

Unfortunately for us, no such things exist. Most would be, if not illegal, certainly frowned upon by the powers that be. Would be fun though.

NB. Look out for ham radio mobile app “Porkies” coming to an app store near you. Find out if their car has actually broken down.

Recruiter's Armoury