Ed Hunter: The Wolf’s Lair

I’ve had crushing rejections previously. None have ever felt as personal as this one. If you saw my LinkedIn post about the letter from ‘The Beeb’ you’ll know their Admissions department’s getting sloppy.

If you haven’t seen it, it’s here.

Ed Hunter Dragons Den Reply 3

Sadly, there’s one thing the idiots at Dragons’ Den didn’t appreciate… my determination.

So, although they didn’t invite me to reply, I thought I’d try one last time.


From: Ed Hunter
Date: Friday 9 August 09:21
To: BBC Admissions
Subject: Phil’s Party Trick

FAO: Dan

Thanks for your reply.

I can’t say I’m not disappointed with the response though.

To forgo my pitch is to cheat your viewers. The same viewers who pay your salary I might add.

I guess I should expect this from an organisation willing to pay Alan Shearer £400K to inaudibly mumble fed-up Geordie for an hour every Saturday.

Oh yeah, Phil’s party trick… He can do a killer impression of an elephant. Honestly, it needs to be seen to be believed. I’ve never seen anything like it. And it’s not just women who stop. I’ve included a photo of something similar.

Kindly think about reversing your decision and I’ll get him to perform live, for the episode.

Yours,

Ed Hunter, Visionary behind ‘The Wolf’s Lair’.

*Photo attachment:

Ed Hunter Dragons' Den Elephant

From: Dan C.
Date: Friday 9 August 09:59
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: Re: Phil’s Party Trick

Ed,

It’s hard to know where to start due to the sheer volume of ideas you’ve sent in.

It’s not just my decision however, there’s a lot of work that goes into selecting business proposals for the show.

Also, as far as I can tell your latest idea is just Dragons’ Den, with a different title and meaner judges? Not the best way to endear yourself to us.

I’m also a little puzzled by the attachment. It just looks like a normal elephant.

Dan

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Friday 9 August 10:23
To: Dan, C.
Subject: RE: Re: Phil’s Party Trick

Den,

Bold of you to assume there’s nothing exceptional about that elephant… I think Phil’s trick might be wasted on the uncultured swine at the Beeb.

I should have pointed out in the application, the judges aren’t the ones who press the ‘gunge button’. That’s actually viewer activated, based on votes. Similar to those odious telephone votes you make a packet from.

Think outside the box FFS.

Love,

Ed

From: Dan C.
Date: Friday 9 August 11:35
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: Re: RE: Re: Phil’s Party Trick

I’m sure he’s an accomplished elephant Ed, but even if that were actually Phil in an elephant suit, it wouldn’t make the programme.

I just think the days of gunging are best left in the past. Especially for those hoping to gain employment…

Please don’t email us again.

Kind regards,

Dan

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Friday 9 August 12:20
To: Dan, C.
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: Phil’s Party Trick

Din,

Ahhh… there’s nothing like the unbridled trust of a man who’s never been lied to 72 times a day. In fairness, I see where you’re coming from.

But let me say this, personally, I’d rather give myself an acid eye-bath than sit through an episode of Strictly Come Dancing. What does this prove? It proves tastes differ.

If you allow me one pilot, I guarantee… GUARANTEE we’ll beat The Apprentice in both commercial nous and intellect on show.

Taking into account, I’ve already stipulated the crowd-sourced gunging, which is a deal breaker!

I’ve even got a few candidates in mind for the first episode.

Let me know,

Ed

From: Dan C.
Date: Friday 9 August 12:46
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: Phil’s Party Trick

Ed honestly, your failure to take basic instruction is more concerning than your bizarre ideas. Continuously selling me the idea won’t get it aired.

Also, you’re being very negative about some of our prime time shows. You’ve alienated your audience already.

Dan

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Friday 9 August 13:18
To: Dan, C.
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: Phil’s Party Trick

Dun,

Sorry for the negativity. I’m just amazed you’ll happily let ‘entrepreneurs’ with the intelligence of a wet sock embarrass themselves trying to impress a scrotum on legs, and none of my ideas made the grade.

Ed

From: Dan C.
Date: Friday 9 August 14:48
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: Phil’s Party Trick

Are you talking about Lord Sugar?!

Stop emailing this address.

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Friday 9 August 15:24
To: Dan, C.
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: Phil’s Party Trick

He might be your Lord Dan, but he’s not mine.

But I am sensing some mild hesitation about the idea. How about this, one last idea, and if you don’t like it, I’ll leave you alone?

From: Dan C.
Date: Friday 9 August 16:28
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: Phil’s Party Trick

Just stop emailing me

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Friday 9 August 16:46
To: Dan, C.
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: Phil’s Party Trick

‘A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing’

I go undercover at some of the county’s worst organisations and point out shoddy practices, like Panorama, but it’s all about changing perceptions and giving people a chance.

Could start at the BBC?

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Tuesday 13 August 09:27
To: Dan, C.
Subject: Re RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: Phil’s Party Trick

Dan?


Just goes to show doesn’t it. Those in positions of power don’t always have good decision making ability.

They didn’t even my hear idea for series two.

Guess they never will now.

I’ll keep you posted with the Sky application.

Until next time.