Ed Hunter: The Best of LinkedIn Part One

When it comes to LinkedIn, I spend a lot of time on it.

I know you see me posting memes, and clowning around on there with the articles I post, but I use it for work too. I don’t call myself Ed Hunter in my actual job. I’m a real boy. And have a real boy’s name.

Sometimes I see things that make sense. Things that LinkedIn’s supposed to be used for. Y’know… work n’ that. 

The rest of the time, it’s just funny scrolling down my newsfeed looking at the many, many ridiculous social updates. I’ve managed to get rid of most of the dross, but things creep through.

Here’s a selection of the best I’ve seen recently and actually remembered to screen shot. Well done if you’ve made it. Your Ed Hunter mug’s in the post.

1. A man who describes the software industry as small

 

Best of LinkedIn Small Industry

There are two schools of thought on sending unsolicited CVs. I get why people do it. I don’t personally, but I understand why you would. The reason in most cases is fees have been made by doing so. Therefore, with prior acceptance from the candidate, what’s the issue?

Whatever your stance, the ‘software industry’ is rather large.

2. Not job hunting due to the sniffles, but offering advice on keeping a doctor away

Best of LinkedIn Cold

 

Ten minutes of reading a day keeps the doctor away apparently. Won’t help you get a job though. Also, if you read that much, is it not bizarre to write simply the fact you read, and not post something of actual value? Something you’ve learnt by reading all those years?

It’s like saying “Yeah I know the secrets to the Universe. I’m not going to tell you what they are, just merely that I know them.”

3. No deal? BRING OUT THE SQUID!

Best of LinkedIn Squid

I can just imagine a line of senior Management holding this unfortunate sea dweller above their heads. Marching ceremoniously into the room as the one at the back bangs a drum to increase the dread around the office. As they waft it in front of your face, rubbing salt into an already fresh wound you pass out from nerves, like that scene in The Temple of Doom.

4. The Rise and Rise of Pakalu Papito

Best of LinkedIn Pakalu

For anyone who doesn’t know Pakalu Papito, you’re robbing youself of some much needed titillation. He’s not big. He’s not clever. Just a man who started at a gas station and makes inappropriate jokes in inappropriate places.

5. “How can I hate women? My Mum’s one”

Best of LinkedIn Women

 

A great stance to take on social media is slating a gender. It won’t get you into trouble. Ever. Probably.

6. Don’t send someone their own CV

Best of LinkedIn Own CV

If you’re a Recruiter and can place someone, with themselves. You win Recruitment. We’ll all go home. Seriously. End of discussion.

7. The Evil Blanket of the Probationary Period

Best of LinkedIn Job Centre

 

Now, look. I’m all for giving people a chance. But I’ve never heard a probationary period described as an ‘evil blanket’. As far as my knowledge goes, a probationary period is there in case you aren’t very good? And in sales, that’s got to be pretty transparent.

Also, someone in Sales, getting 157 likes on an update THEY’VE POSTED notifying the world they’re not very good at sales is most ironic thing I can imagine for someone looking for a job in Sales. As the young gent below him points out. Just do it yourself chap.

Also, if everyone could stop feeding off people’s misfortune, that’d be just great.

8. Good Man, Good Vet

Best of LinkedIn Vet

An oldie, but a goodie.

9. Sometimes the posts will be fake

Best of LinkedIn Proud

I’ll never understand why people think they’ll get away with literally copying and pasting something online. I guess that’s how the internet works now.

At least this guy’s honest.

10. “Rambo, Dumbo, Bimbo and maybe after 5 pints of Strongbow”

Best of LinkedIn Rambo

Yes, I know this is derogatory. But, he’s just about to destroy the world. And as someone who actually quite likes the world, I’m sharing it.

11. It’s YOUR Fault. It’s ALL YOUR FAULT

Best of LinkedIn Rant

What about a flat tyre? Train’s delayed? Surely you’re not pinning a dead pet on us?

12. Is THAT Why Mums Go To Iceland?

Best of LinkedIn Deeppanalbumparty

That Iceland advert has to be one of the most sexist adverts I’ve ever seen by the way. And before anyone accuses me of the same thing, I’m sure Dads love deeppanalbumpartys JUST AS MUCH as Mums.

13. You’re My Hero George!

Best of LinkedIn George

George, we need to hang out. I’m serious. Let’s have a beer. Just let me know what you’ll be wearing so we don’t clash.

14. There Goes Ramesh, I Must Remember to Thank Him

Best of LinkedIn Ramesh

When all that remains of this world are the insights of important philosophers written in stone , certain names will stand above the rest. Ever present throughout the annals of time.

Plato, Aristotle, Socrates… Ramesh.

15. Funkhouser Recruits

Best of LinkedIn Marty Funkhouser

If you’re going to reimagine yourself as a character from Curb Your Enthusiasm on LinkedIn… spell Recruiter right ffs.

16. ‘You are a ****’

Best of LinkedIn Voicemail

Can anyone guess which recruitment company this was? If it was you, do us a favour mate. We’re trying to shift the negative rep!


 

I’m SURE the good people who like Ed Hunter will have more than this they can send on. If you want to make it in to the second article in this series you can do one of two things.

One, post ridiculous stuff on LinkedIn and hope someone screenshots it.

Or… two, send me any gold you’ve seen yourself. Anything sent will, as always receive some sort of prize. Be that a mask, mug or something snazzier.

Ed x