Ed Hunter: The 13 Recruitment Gods Ruling Your Career

When ‘The Recruitment Gods’ are on your side you’ll fill every role you pull. When they’re not you might as well go home. Some of the below are mythical beings that somehow govern your success.

Some of them however you’ll recognise as characters in your Recruitment life.

Be brave. Tag someone you recognise. Then say your prayers.

Hermes

 Hermes

(Messenger to the Gods)

God of the interview journey. Will affect emails, cab drivers, breakdowns, tube strikes, traffic and Google maps. If you’ve said your prayers; everything goes to plan. If not, get your keys. You’re driving them there yourself.

Poseidon

Poseidon

(God of the sea)

Hit a drought? Guess who’s to blame… Equally if you’ve just been flooded by roles and great candidates Poseidon’s favouring you. This is why you chose a career in sails, batten down the hatches to tide you over the inclement weather.

Hades

Hades

(God of Death)

Is your deal dead? Has a candidate’s, brother’s, uncle’s, sister’s hamster been struck down and need urgent attention? Hades has him now. Give up. You’re not going to Ibiza this year.

Artemis

Artemis

(Virgin Goddess of the Hunt)

This Virgin Goddess is the Queen of Recruitment. She guides the entire process. Will help you get through to you client/candidate first time. Say a little prayer to Artemis when you’re alone. She’s got your back. Helps the Headhunter in every aspect of ‘The Hunt’.

Apollo

Apollo

(God of Healing and Prophesy)

You know that deal you’ve given up on? The one your boss raises an eyebrow to when you tell them you’re still clinging on. When that deal comes in after 2 weeks of no communication… thanks be to Apollo. As a God of medicine you can also probably blame Apollo if you fancy a sick day.

Food poisoning from the dodgy chicken in Thirsty Thursday’s kebab… “Must have been a pollo”

Achilles

Achilles

(Half man Half God)

 The Top Biller. This guy’s semi on your level, but he’s also a demigod. Untouchable by mere mortals, just being in his presence will make you perform better. Has only one known weakness… occasionally shoots himself in the foot by setting ridiculously high standards. Where are your 11 deals this month, Achilles?!

Dionysus Small

Dionysus

(The God of festivity and wine)

The God of festivity and wine. Dionysus is the God that keeps the Director’s credit card behind the bar for one more hour. The champagne, lavish dinners, boat trips, ski holidays and helicopter journeys over the city are all courtesy of this guy. Most of us can thank Dionysus for a hangover at some point. 

Charon

Charon

(Boatman to the afterlife)

Boatman of the River Styx. If you’ve just stuck it to your boss, you’ll need a coin (decent billings) for this guy in order to make it safely from the land of the dead (unemployment) to the afterlife (your next job).

Basically a Rec 2 Rec – Don’t let poor billings leave you wandering the wilderness for a hundred years. Use this instead.

Aphrodite

Aphrodite

(The Goddess of Love)

The Office flirt. Getting more attention than normal? Aphrodite’s smiling on you friend. Enjoy it. It won’t last long. Because of her beauty, most Gods (Directors) will worry competition for her attention may lead to war in the office. And it probably will but she’ll still be hired.

Zeus

Zeus

(God of the Skies. The ‘Head God’)

The main man. The head honcho. This is your Director and the boardroom is his lair. Everything is governed by this fella. You can dote on anyone you want… If ‘Zeus’ isn’t happy with you, you’ll be banished from the kingdom, to never return.

The Best of the Rest…

Medusa

Medusa

(Snake haired monster)

Not a God but definitely to be feared. The Gatekeeper/”Director of First Impressions. Steer clear of her gaze or you’ll be turned to stone (i.e. not get through).

Helen of Troy

Helena

(Daughter of Zeus, most beautiful woman in the world)

The face that launched a thousand (relation) ships. Yes, she’s a beauty but there’s nothing behind the eyes. By all means take them on your client meeting but DON’T let them speak. They’ll ruin it for everyone.

Minotaur

The Minotaur

(Half human/half bull)

Head of HR. This half human half bull dwells at the center of the Labyrinth, which is an elaborate maze-like construction. Make your way past this aggressive, horned creature all the way to the hiring manager and they’ll probably build a statue of you in the office.