Ed Hunter: Soy Boy Vs Dickie

Some people don’t like this blog. And honestly, I don’t mind. In fact, I kind of welcome it.

It makes it much easier to write when I know I don’t have to pander to the wider population.

Realistically, this blog is for recruiters and anyone who likes laughing with (and at) recruiters. There was a Developer on LinkedIn the other day who really, really didn’t like a post.

Move on pal.

It’s not for you. 

You’re quite literally getting angry with a cartoon wolf.

Do you think you’re going to win that argument? And why do you want to? It just doesn’t matter.

None of the things I post are that deep. I post them with the full intention of making people laugh. That’s quite literally my only intention.

I never try to sell you anything or hoodwink you into anything you don’t want to do.

In fact I often send out prizes all over the world, at personal cost to me.

And (because Hunted were good enough to give me a home) I even offer jobs, right next to this page, if you feel like a change.

Imagine my surprise then, when someone takes so much offence at one of my blogs, they email me some angry words.

As you’ve been here before, you’ll know how this ends.

Me laughing at my screen, wiping the tears away so I can see my keyboard.

And so we begin…

From: Richard ______
Date: Friday 7 Jun 09:23
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: Your NOT even funny

I saw your post about Trump. Why do you bother?

Your just an unfunny pr*ck who shares private emails and shit memes from Facebook and ruins LinkedIn for what its sposed to be for. Business.

You weak, virtue signalling, castrated, beta male soy boy. Go and grab your Starbucks soy latte and vent that SJW rage!

Ive never been a recruiter but even if I was your not funny. Ive seen funnier stuff on gravestones.

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Friday 7 Jun 10:02
To: Richard ______
Subject: Re: You’re* NOT even funny

Haha

Thanks for this Richie lad, you’ve really cheered up my Friday. I had to Google Soy Boy, pretty funny.

Here’s the thing though chap… I see from your LinkedIn, you’re a Developer? This page isn’t really for you mate.

It’s like a vegan, rugby tackling a guy wearing a sandwich board, for advertising salmon. It’s OK. You don’t get it. It’s not for you.

I saw a man propose once in sky writing from a plane. Quite the spectacle. Did I shake my fist in anger and smash up an airport, ’cause he wasn’t proposing to me? No I smiled and got on with my life.

Not that I’d have said no, with that effort… amirite?!

Also, if you’re going to send me abuse over email mate, for the love of all things holy, learn correct spelling and grammar. You’re* making my eyes bleed.

Cheers,

Ed

From: Richard ______
Date: Friday 7 Jun 10:35
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: RE: Re: You’re* NOT even funny

Don’t suprise me your gay. And my jobs really got nothing to do with it.

I bet I earn more than you, I know enough recruiters to know your all morons.

Your just a snowflake and cant take true opinions from an audience who see through your jokes.

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Friday 7 Jun 10:52
To: Richard ______
Subject: Re: RE: Re: You’re* NOT even funny

Honestly you being a homophobe is the least surprising thing in this thread. Love offend you does it chap?

I’ll give you this though, your blind commitment to using year 3 grammar is almost impressive. Whichever lucky sod ends up reading your gravestone will have quite the job on their hands.

If they can stop dancing long enough to read your brief history of hate, that is.

Also, correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t snowflakes the ones who get offended?

It’s so confusing this modern world isn’t it Dickie lad?

From: Richard ______
Date: Friday 7 Jun 11:24
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: You’re* NOT even funny

It won’t be confusing when I come to your office and knock your teeth out.

I bet your real names not even Ed. Hiding behind a fake photo I see.

What’s your address soy boy? Let’s see how funny u are.

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Friday 7 Jun 12:03
To: Richard ______
Subject: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: You’re* NOT even funny

Dickie chops,

The fact you don’t realise Ed Hunter is a joke in itself proves my point. Sadly, I can’t put an IQ firewall on my articles. It’s discriminative. Ironically, something you seem to champion.

My address is as follows:

_______

____

_________

Let me know when you plan on getting here and I’ll stick a tie on. I hate bad first impressions, don’t you?

Much love and respec’

Ed

From: Richard ______
Date: Friday 7 Jun 12:24
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: You’re* NOT even funny

As if I’ll tell you when Im coming.

I’m gonna catch you unawares. turn your lights out and drive off.

Let’s see how your love campaign gos after that.

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Friday 7 Jun 12:31
To: Richard ______
Subject: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: You’re* NOT even funny

Alright alright, we’ve all had a Super Tennent’s.

Well I’ve not tbf, I’ve had a… *checks your first email* Starbucks Soy Latte (actually not my thing, more of an Earl Grey man).

Yeah it was old Nanna G who passed that trend on, the legend. Let me guess though… old people not your thing either?

You know what, she was quite feisty in her day, I’ll get her along to our duel?

Love,

EH x

From: Richard ______
Date: Friday 7 Jun 13:11
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: You’re* NOT even funny

Bring whoever you want fanny. I’ll see you later.

Now shouldn’t you be on the phone, petering hard working people to make money for you??! HAHA LEECH!

Maybe I’ll tell all my followers what a FAKE you really are. Watch your back!!

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Friday 7 Jun 14:17
To: Richard ______
Subject: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: You’re* NOT even funny

Ohhhh dick. You are making this hard.

OK petal. See you later.

I’ll have the kettle on. Also I’ve included my birth certificate just for your records. Hopefully this puts the whole campaign of confusion on the back burner, but you’re somewhat of a renegade, so who knows.

Also, as funny as this exchange has been please PLEASE don’t ‘out me’ on LinkedIn.

*Attached

Ed Hunter Certificate of Birth

From: Richard ______
Date: Friday 7 Jun 14:28
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: You’re* NOT even funny

How stupid do you think I am to believe that’s real.

Your probably illegal here aren’t you?! Thinking you can hide behind a fake birth certificate and choose which real British workers get jobs. SNOWFAKE! HAHA

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Friday 7 Jun 15:29
To: Richard ______
Subject: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: You’re* NOT even funny

Dearest Dick,

Sadly, ‘xenophobia’ and ‘racial profiling’ are the last two boxes on my Facist Bingo Card here.

You’ve kept me smiling this afternoon, but now I’ve got trees to hug, lattes to drink and marches to attend.

Please look out for sandwich boards and sky-writing. You just never know when something offensive will pop up.

Remember, old people are a treasure and not everyone wants to fight you.

All my love always,

Ed Hunter

*Attached

Ed Hunter Sandwich board

Sadly Richard didn’t email me back.

I assume he went to kick a toddler or set fire to an Old People’s Home. If you see anyone swearing I’m not really called Ed Hunter, and aren’t a real wolf, PLEASE don’t believe them.

Until next week amigos, you stay classy.

The Real Ed Hunter.