Every Recruiter in the world’s aware how much statistics drive what we do. You’ll almost certainly know your own.
Roughly how many hours you’ve spent on the phone this week.
How many emails you’ve sent.
How many times you’ve pretended to listen to your boss’s nonsense.
Right from the start of your career you get helpful ‘key performance indicators’ to indicate how much of a poor job you’re doing. They’ll be emailed round the office for all to see.
Luckily if your KPI reports break for some reason, you can just look at that massive ZERO next to your name, on the board on the way into the kitchen.
Made up by ‘the powers that be’ to drive home a particular point.
Terrible, isn’t it?
And such a high number too.
You also might not know, that people who fabricate stats in recruitment are 98% better at drawing a precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion. Which is interesting.
It’s also true that 100% of the CVs you don’t send never get a job. Which makes you think doesn’t it.
Interestingly there’s also a direct correlation between consultants who ‘get’ jokes in these articles and billing ability.
Here are some other stats the majority of you may appreciate…
The proportion of your colleagues who actually mean ‘well done’ when they high five you after doing a deal
The proportion of your colleagues who wish they’d done the deal
The amount of consultants on the grad intake that reach the end of the first week
The amount of business cards you give to people that will actually be used for business
The amount of calls you make where you speak to someone. Anyone. ANYTHING other than the same voicemail provider message
The amount of candidates who’ve put some music on their voicemail and recorded a snazzy message
The amount of times it puts a smile on your face before questioning the sanity of the candidate
The amount of time you waste on a Friday afternoon trying to recruit
The exact amount of your commission you’ve mentally spent before you receive it
The amount of times your commission cheque falls short of what you’d worked out a thousand times on a calculator while on the phone to the client
The amount of times you’ve written “I hope you’re well” this month
The amount of times you’ve meant it
The days you’ll actively log your KPIs on any system
The chance your company has a CRM that saves you time rather than consumes it
What you advertise as the CV to placement rate for every client
Ed Hunter’s CV to placement ratio
The Amount of Internal Recruiters who are ‘unfairly’ labelled as “failed Recruiters”
The chance of you being put through to the Hiring Manager after asking the Internal Recruiter
The percentage of Internal Recruiters who add value to a process
Percentage of Recruiters that Internal Recruiters think add value to a process
The percentage of time you’re recognised for the hard work and impact you actually have
It’s a funny old game isn’t it?
You could argue people in recruitment just make up stats like this to reinforce a point.
I’d never do that obviously, I’ve got more important things to be doing.
Candidate Manager - Consulting Projects at Freshminds
Recruitment Consultant - Property & Construction at Blayze Group
Recruiters looking to move into search at Carisbrook Partners