Ed Hunter: “Recruiter Regrets Life Choices After LinkedIn Criticism”

I regret to inform you recruitment’s been in the press again.

This is a news article I found recently that’s deserving of a wider audience. I’ll leave you to make your own judgements.


Recruiter Regrets Life Choices After LinkedIn Criticism

A Recruiter hit the headlines this week as a fierce LinkedIn spat highlighted all the mistakes he’d made in his life so far.

Phil Jobs, from Reading, pleaded for forgiveness after he was found guilty in The Court of LinkedIn, of  ‘misdirection’ and ‘failing to choose a proper career path’.

“I thought I was trying to make the world a better place” sniffled Mr jobs as he hid his face from the cameras following the court appearance.

“I benefitted from the guidance of bullies at school, but their advice was always a lot less cutting in person” reflected the failed Car Salesman in a rare show of substance.

It’s unclear what Mr Jobs, 35 will do now his misdirection has been corrected and rightly punished. 

“I’ve had a few ideasbut I’m happy to let LinkedIn decide” he claimed in a further show of rehabilitation.

“Project Management is obviously the dream” he sighed on questioning. “Or something that really gives back to the people. Like a Developer. You can tell Developers are all amazing people by how righteous they are online. No one would take that tone if their life wasn’t completely in order.”

A mother’s disappointment

Yvette Bother, 58 Mr Jobs’ separated mother, struggled to hide her disappointment on hearing of her son’s conviction.

“I assumed he was going against my wishes out of spite, y’ know, for a lover or a friend” she remonstrated… “turns out he was just displeasing everyone. At least him leaving recruitment will help my reputation at the Cribbage Club” she reasoned.

In truth, it’s been a lifetime of disappointment for Ms Y. Bother.

She’s in the same boat as many recruiters’ parents, all round the world.

Struggling to hide her disappointment she appealed to other parents to not make the same mistakes.

“Make sure you know what your kids are up to. Look for signs of distress in their online activity. Posts which start ‘Fantastic opportunity’ seem harmless but could be the gateway to more serious issues.”

LinkedIn agrees.

The social media tool which most closely represents real life is outwardly critical of those foolish enough to not listen in school.

Something which Mr Jobs refutes.

“My Careers Officer didn’t know about recruitment. I didn’t even know recruiters were hated until I was one. And by then it was too late!”

The public retribution of recruiters remains thunderous.

And strangely, those most guilty of public derision are often the same people in need of help. Which tells you just how much this sickening career choice remains a problem in the commercial landscape.

Mr Terry Watt from Hull has called for time on the profession.

“I’m effin sick of ‘em, that’s wha’I think. They take and take and if I’m really honest I’d ‘ave ‘em shot at birth.”

Harsh times, harsh measures

Are we reaching the point when recruiters need to be neutered?

Should we look at stopping the rot with a worldwide cull?

Should there be support groups for all those who’ve been touched by this gruesome beast?

This writer thinks so.

No precaution should be overlooked in ensuring the safety of our business world. And Recruiters surely threaten that harmony.

These unemployment-battling, CV-reading, spell-checking b*stards have taken it too far.

They should be seen and not heard.

The public’s sick of seeing personality from those who should remain hushed. And outcry on LinkedIn is merely the beginning.

“I worked hard at school to make sure idiots like this weren’t an issue” reported LinkedIn troll and all-round nice guy, Gary Silvers.

“I think my parents saw something in me, as they gave me my big break financially. I see it as my job to tell others they’re not good enough. I tell my wife all the time!”

A lesson learnt

Time will tell whether Mr Jobs heeds the free advice handed to him in his recent public roasting.

“I’ll remember my place in future, that’s for sure” grunted the disgruntled Headhunter. “I’m going to be of more help to my fellow man, or woman, but to be fair, they’re not quite as mean online.”

Can we change an industry by timely retribution in online forums?

Should we look to children for answers?

Is education going far enough in ridding world industry of this dark plague?

All questions that need answering in time.

For now however, remember to call out your recruiter for choosing an illicit career path.

Make sure they know what the world thinks of them. And if in doubt, see what the Courts of LinkedIn decide on their fate, with a public roasting.

M. Oron, reporting for The Career Guardian.


Shocking huh?!

Imagine having the audacity to be a recruiter in this day and age.

I’ll report more on this story as it comes in.

Until then…