Ed Hunter: Pro Bono

If you’re reading this you’ll have seen the image I shared on LinkedIn from the lovely Dan, asking me to work ‘pro bono’.

That’s free, for anyone unaware.

I was pretty close to sharing the name of the agency, but professional courtesy got the better of me on this occasion.

I know, weird.

Anyway, Dan’s obviously not seen this blog before. Because if he had, he’d know I’d do just about anything for an email chain where I can wind someone up.

(Here’s the screenshot if you didn’t catch it on LinkedIn)

Ed Hunter Dan Pro Bono Screenshot

 

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Thursday 10 October 10:11
To: Dan
Subject: ‘Pro Bono’

Dan,

Thanks so much for your kind note asking me to work ‘Pro Bono’.

Sadly, I’m very much Anti Bono. In fact that tiresome, virtue signalling, bizarre and unreasonably wealthy Irishman is quite close to the top on my ‘Hate List’.

You might not have a Hate List, Dan.

It’s a list of people I’d like hung publicly by the ankles, with rotten fruit thrown at them on the hour, every hour, until they promise to just stop.

Alongside Bono is… ‘The Edge’ (the man, not the pizza), the other members of U2, Farage, Rees-Mogg, Hopkins, Clarkson, Piers Morgan, Luis Suarez, Bo-Jo, People who stop suddenly on the pavement, Delivery Drivers, Tube Button Operators and Moths.

Oh and Anthony Braxton. And not just because he INSISTS on pronouncing the soft ‘th’ in Anthony.

Whilst I’m here btw, my daughter’s got some colouring-in to do for Friday. Would you be interested in doing a mock up for me?

Should I like what you’ve put together, there’s an exclusive contract available for one picture per week – no fridge guarantees.

If you’d like to be within a chance of winning, please reply to this email.

Cheers,

Ed

From: Dan
Date: Thursday 10 October 10:37
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: Re: ‘Pro Bono’

Ed,

I understand this offer isn’t for everyone, and in fairness yours was one of the more polite and funny responses I’ve had.

One was just two words – I’ll let you guess which ones.

That said, working with ______ will be a massive account in the next 12 months alone. We think it’s a fair proposition. And we’re willing to work at 12.5% across every permanent placement within that time.

If you’re not interested I’ll take you off the list.

And I wasn’t referring to Bono from U2.

Regards,

Dan

Ps. Who’s Anthony Braxton?

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Thursday 10 October 11:47
To: Dan
Subject: RE: Re: ‘Pro Bono’

Woahhhhh… hang on, I didn’t realise that…

So, after I’ve placed the first candidate with you, I’m able to charge 12.5% of salary+bens for every candidate placed thereafter?

Might be a game changer.

Ed

Ps. You won’t know ‘Thony’, he lived next door to me from ’98-04. Honestly, just a complete t*sser. Or he was, I think he met his demise shortly after Linda left with the kids.

From: Dan
Date: Thursday 10 October 12:45
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: Re: RE: Re: ‘Pro Bono’

Ed,

We wouldn’t include benefits in the rates, it’d be salary only.

And of course we’d evaluate the partnership at the end of year 1, or before that, should results dictate.

If you’d like to see the job spec for the first role we have, the JD’s attached.

We’d like CVs for this role ASAP and have availability for interviews next week.

Dan

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Thursday 10 October 13:11
To: Dan
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: ‘Pro Bono’

The JD for a ‘Head of Creative’…?!

No wonder you’ve been sent expletives Dan. That’s a £30k fee you’re trying to get for nothing…

I genuinely think I’d rather record a Celeb Xmas Single with Bono and the gang than spend time on this.

From: Dan
Date: Thursday 10 October 13:35
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: ‘Pro Bono’

Why are you wasting my time, if you’ve no intention of working with us?

Ed, we plan to hire at least 2 Grads this month, after this placement. So there’s a long stream of work there for a person with the right attitude.

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Thursday 10 October 13:52
To: Dan
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: ‘Pro Bono’

So, if I understand you correctly you’d like me to find you a Head of Creative, for free… so I can charge you 12.5% of 2 Grads’ salaries afterwards…

Who’s wasting who’s time?

You remind me of that total sh*t Braxton. He didn’t appreciate how the world works either… God rest his soul.

From: Dan
Date: Thursday 10 October 14:04
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: ‘Pro Bono’

You sound like a typical recruiter Ed.

I wouldn’t worry about the rates for Grads as you won’t be working with _____ whilst I’m here.

I’ll give the work to someone who can see the opportunity.

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Thursday 10 October 14:12
To: Dan
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: ‘Pro Bono’

Want me to share it on LinkedIn for you? I guarantee you’ll get some interest.

I can’t guarantee it’ll be positive however.

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Thursday 10 October 14:57
To: Dan
Subject: RE: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: ‘Pro Bono’

Dan?

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Thursday 10 October 15:13
To: Dan
Subject: RE: RE: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: ‘Pro Bono’

Dan? Dan? Dan? Dan? Dan? Dannnnnnnnn.

Nope, he’s not seen me…

Dan?

Daaannnnnnnnnnn.

Nope.

Ed Hunter Alan Partridge Dan

 

From: Dan
Date: Thursday 10 October 15:16
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: Re: RE: RE: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: ‘Pro Bono’

I’d actually pay you to stop emailing me.

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Thursday 10 October 15:18
To: Dan
Subject: RE: Re: RE: RE: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: ‘Pro Bono’

Tell you what, the first time you ask, I’ll stop for free.

But if you have to ask me again, I’ll charge 12.5% of my salary (not including benefits).

Please note, by reading this email, you hereby accept all associated terms and conditions. 

From: Dan
Date: Thursday 10 October 15:29
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: Re: RE: Re: RE: RE: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: ‘Pro Bono’

PLEASE GO AWAY.

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Thursday 10 October 15:42
To: Dan
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: RE: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: ‘Pro Bono’

Invoice attached.

Love, Ed.


 

The best thing about this is I guarantee there are other recruiters who got this message.

If you’re the one who ‘won’ the contract, I’d love to hear how it’s going.

If not well, this might be of use to you.