Ed Hunter: Literally Your Job

As you know by now, I’m really, really nice. In fact probably the nicest recruitment wolf you’re ever likely to meet.

Which means I’ll go out of my way for strangers.

Whether I know you or not, if you ask me for a favour, and it’s within my power, I’ll probably help you out.

“Can you do me a favour and piss off mate?” ask women at bus stops.

“I’d appreciate it if you stopped calling this number” plead gatekeepers.

“Please stop following me” beg passive candidates.

And every time I’m kind enough to comply.

So when a lovely potential candidate contacted me out the blue recently, you can guess how it went…

From: Jeremy, H
Date: Friday 26 July 11.01
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: A bit of advice

Hi Ed,

We’ve not spoken before but I’ve been sent your details by Dave ______ who you helped find a role for recently.

I’ve been out of work for 18 months and so far have had 14 interviews.

A lot of recruiters can’t even seem bothered to respond to my queries, perhaps no suprise!! But I’ve been told your different.

Anyway, wondered whether you’d check out my resume to see if you’ve got anything that would suit.

Any feedbaxk on it appreciated too.

Cheers,

Jez

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Friday 26 July 11.35
To: Jeremy, H
Subject: Re: A bit of advice

Hi Jez,

Sorry to hear about the lengthy layoff.

You’re not really in my area I’m afraid.

I’ve never recruited Industrial PMs so wouldn’t have anything that’d suit, nor my colleagues sadly.

If anything comes up from my network I’m happy to send it over though.

Also, I’ve had a look through your CV. There’s quite a few spelling errors in there you might want to banish, and I’d try to cut it down if I were you. 11 pages is quite long and your more recent experience would benefit from being at the top.

Happy to talk through some advice on the phone if that would help?

Ed

From: Jeremy, H
Date: Friday 26 July 11.45
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: RE: Re: A bit of advice

So your saying the odd spelling error is why I haven’t got a job for over a year?!

I swear you recruiters are all the same. It’s rediculous you see being dyslexic as a barrier to being a fantastic Project Manager. Which I am btw!!

Also, everyone of my experiences is relevant TO MY JOB. Hence it being on my CV.

Getting candidates jobs is literally your job. Perhaps you should do it.

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Friday 26 July 12:11
To: Jeremy, H
Subject: Re: RE: Re: A bit of advice

Errrm… I’m a little confused Jez. You ‘literally’ asked me for advice?

I use speech marks there due to the fact getting random people jobs ‘literally’ isn’t my job mate.

Also, it’s got nothing to do with dyslexia. There are spell check and grammar tools which would help banish all incorrect ‘Mangers’ from your CV. Of which there are 5.

Honestly my response was just common courtesy, but I forget how rare it is.

Wish you all the best with the job search.

Ed

From: Jeremy, H
Date: Friday 26 July 13:37
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: A bit of advice

What’s confusing?

I’m a good candidate and your someone who can’t get me a job?!

You and you’re cronies is what’s wrong with this country. Expecting a living off someone else’s hard work and can’t even be botherd to do it properly.

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Friday 26 July 13:51
To: Jeremy, H
Subject: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: A bit of advice

Jiz,

I was just trying to help mate. But forget it.

Have you thought maybe your attitude is the reason you’ve been out of work for 18 months?

Dunno, just spitballin’…

From: Jeremy, H
Date: Friday 26 July 14:01
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: A bit of advice

How have you tried to help me?

You literally said you hav nothing for me!!

Go back to scrounging off other people, thats what your best at it seems.

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Friday 26 July 14:18
To: Jeremy, H
Subject: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: A bit of advice

Jazz,

I have no idea how this has turned into an argument but I honestly don’t fancy your chances.

All I have to do this afternoon (having hit target some weeks ago) is waste time.

By all means carry on, but I’m not sure if either of us can win.

Ed

From: Jeremy, H
Date: Friday 26 July 15:23
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: A bit of advice

It started coz you took the piss out of my dysliexia before even bothering to call me on the phone.

Which is the perfect snapshot of recruiters. You don’t bother to build relationships, just think you have the power of god to say yes or no to whoever can make you the most money!!

Make me sick!!

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Friday 26 July 15: 29
To: Jeremy, H
Subject: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: A bit of advice

I mean I didn’t. In any way. But if that makes you sick, you wouldn’t wanna see how we treat candidates in their interviews here.

We lock three hopefuls in a stationery cupboard along with three items.

1) A rope

2) A chainsaw

3) A paper clip

We only unlock the door when there’s one left.

After that, they’re free to hit the phones for their first client call.

Naturally, given the fact we’re recruiters ‘client call’ simply means ringing up The Devil and swapping the soul of a less important employee for the phone number of a business without a gatekeeper.

And weirdly, despite all that, candidates who email in random obscenities are even lower down the food chain.

Weird, huh?

From: Jeremy, H
Date: Friday 26 July 15:42
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: A bit of advice

You might thnk your funny writing all this but I’ll be screenshotting this conversation to post online.

Trouble is it will get lost amongst the noise of a thousand others complaining about you to.

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Friday 26 July 15: 44
To: Jeremy, H
Subject: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: A bit of advice

Complaining about us to… who?

From: Jeremy, H
Date: Friday 26 July 15:46
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: A bit of advice

What?!

Shut up you pr*ck!!


 I’ve been involved in a few of these now, and I think there’s a few reasons…

Firstly, I’m not afraid to call out idiots.

Secondly, the veil of anonymity really helps.

But thirdly, we get such a bad name online, it’s nice to address the balance every now and then.

Weirdly, not many of my scuffles end up online as promised.