Ed Hunter: HALF PRICE Professionality

Another week another shitty InMail. It’s amazing how many people don’t realise how weird they sound in their marketing, isn’t it?

You don’t have to go far to find a business who’ve seriously got it wrong either.

Basically by having a LinkedIn profile, you’ll find the weird and the wonderful drop along unwarranted, just to share their weirdness with you.

That’s what happened last week.

My response was everything you’ve come to expect. Mature. Reasoned. Well thought-out. Professional.

Not words you’d associate with it.

As you can see…

Ed Hunter Chris InMail Screenshot

 

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Thursday 9 Jan 09:32
To: Charles
Subject: Are YOU exclusive enough?

Chris/Charles – delighted to be emailed by two people at once, you guys really go the extra mile.

I’ve just received your exclusive offer of membership to your really brilliant member’s club. Both my colleague and I were invited within 20 seconds of each other.

I’m a member of a few clubs at the moment so need to ascertain your worthiness before sending my application.

I’m also assuming there’s a fee as it’s labelled ‘HALF PRICE’.

So pray tell Charles, what does it cost?

Excitedly yours,

Ed/Erol

From: Charles
Date: Thursday 9 Jan 12:36
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: Re: Are YOU exclusive enough?

Hi Ed Charles here.

Great to see you are interested in our award-winning Group.

You may be wondering how we found you and why we reached out.

What have you done to deserve this great reward? Have you won the corporate lottery? Have you found the leprechaun’s treasure?

Our research staff hunt for roses amongst thorns.

They work day and night searching for high-level SPECIALISTS. They then review bios and websites and reach out to those who we feel would be a good fit for the group.

One of our founders then talks with each prospective Member prior to extending a formal invitation to join.

The price for membership currently in our LONDON Group is just £197 per month.

Please visit here ________________________ to book your initiation call.

Charles

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Thursday 9 Jan 13:22
To: Charles
Subject: RE: Re: Are YOU exclusive enough?

Hi Ed Charles,

I do wonder how these things find me yeah.

I’ve got to doubt your methods mind. Do you really take all those steps just to make sure an InMail recipient’s right?

You’d fit in well here as a Researcher.

Anyway as mentioned, I need information to understand why your group is better than anything I’m associated with now.

Thanks,

Eduardo

From: Charles
Date: Thursday 9 Jan 16:34
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: Re: RE: Re: Are YOU exclusive enough?

Ed sir,

I can personally account for the credibility of this group.

Each group meets monthly and members can also participate in our four industry specialty groups that meet quarterly.

We also hold fundraising meetups for the group and other deserving beneficiaries.

I won’t say we’re better than every other group you attend currently, but we’re VERY good for business leaders.

Charles

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Thursday 9 Jan 16:48
To: Charles
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: Are YOU exclusive enough?

I’d love to get into fundraising Charles. Especially if it creates finances for our fellow members in the group.

Is there a chant or mantra to learn before meeting ‘the leader’?

Also I’d be up for finding some kind of honest farm work if you could facilitate that too? Maybe a commune to live on?

I’m currently in 4 groups:

The Nectar Club, NWA, RAC and SCOUTS technically, as I’m sure I never formally left.

Can you promise, and PROMISE mind, your group will be better for me professionally than those?

If so, please provide your address, to which I’ll send a cheque forthwith.

Edmund

From: Charles
Date: Friday 10 Jan 09:38
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: Are YOU exclusive enough?

Ed I can authenticate our claims of professionality and commitment to success.

Please send your check to this address:

___________

_________

_____

________

Once it’s clear I’ll send through your Networking Pack and guidelines.

Charles

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Friday 10 Jan 11:56
To: Charles
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: Are YOU exclusive enough?

Just to check, it’s £197 [and the half price discount].

So… £98.50 yeah?

Eddie

From: Charles
Date: Friday 10 Jan 13:37
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: Are YOU exclusive enough?

Ed,

No £197 is the price. Kindly send the check to activate your membership package.

Regards,

Charles

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Friday 10 Jan 15:33
To: Charles
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: Are YOU exclusive enough?

Hmmm… that’s a bit expensive Charles.

But I’ve done something even better.

Last year I wrote a book and sold it to a very select group of people. Honestly, there’s so few of these books out they’re already collector’s items.

Anyway, one copy is probably worth about £300 now, easily.

I’ve already sent one to you at the address provided.

Kindly send me the change by way of cheque for £103.

Kindest regards,

Edwin

From: Charles
Date: Friday 10 Jan 15:41
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: Are YOU exclusive enough?

Ed sir,

I haven’t received such book and kindly don’t wish to.

Please provide the finances for the Group activation. If your not interested in our proposal please let us know at the earliest.

Kind regards,

Charles

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Friday 10 Jan 15:46
To: Charles
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: Are YOU exclusive enough?

Can you send my book back then?

From: Charles
Date: Friday 10 Jan 15:58
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: Are YOU exclusive enough?

I don’t have your book.

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Friday 10 Jan 16:02
To: Charles
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: Are YOU exclusive enough?

I don’t believe you.

Can you take a photo to prove it?

From: Charles
Date: Friday 10 Jan 16:12
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: Are YOU exclusive enough?

*Image attachment

Empty Letterbox

 

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Friday 10 Jan 16:14
To: Charles
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: Are YOU exclusive enough?

Oh Charles… what’s this?!

From: Charles
Date: Friday 10 Jan 16:29
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: Are YOU exclusive enough?

My mailbox empty.

Kindly Ed, send your URGENT fee to our bank account: SC___________AN__________

Charles.

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Friday 10 Jan 16:43
To: Charles
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: Are YOU exclusive enough?

Charles that doesn’t look like the house of winner mate.

Have you just got that image from the internet? If so, it’s an incredibly poor choice.

Also, how do I know you didn’t remove the book before the photo? Then, after laughing a lot, replied to me with fabricated evidence.

Love,

Elephant

Ps. Here’s me with super model Niomi Campbell, a personal friend reminding you never to be dishonest.

*Image attachment

Ed Hunter and Niomi Campbell

From: Charles
Date: Friday 10 Jan 17:45
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: Are YOU exclusive enough?

I guess your not interested in our networking Group Ed.

I will remove you from the list.

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Friday 10 Jan 18:34
To: Charles
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: Are YOU exclusive enough?

Remind me how much it is?


Annoyingly Charles went quiet just as I was about to buy.

No business sense some people.

Until the next time I wind someone up on email.

Yours, Ed.