Ed Hunter: “Do NOT Contact Line”

Chances are as you’re reading this you’re relatively busy. It’s Jan after all. And January in recruitment has always been a winner. You’ve got a mixture of new budgets agreed and all the clients who absolutely promised they’d hire before Christmas. And obviously didn’t.

One such client became an ex-client in the festive season just gone. After an email chain went awry.

There’s part of me that relishes these exchanges, as long-standing followers will know.

But I should point out, this client’s been the biggest time waster I’ve ever worked with. So, I let my new Researcher practice their phone manner without fear of retribution.

This client had 2 chances. She messed me and multiple candidates around mercilessly. And, her entire company now has a bad reputation because of her attitude. So, as a bit of rejection handling and rapport practice, Adam my Researcher got to work.

So here’s what went down.


From: Miranda, K
Date: Thursday 7 December 2017 10.01
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: Urgent Positions

Hi Ed,

We have too live positions that need filling as a matter of urgency.

Job Specs are attached. Please send CV’s to me NOT David. NO CONTACT IS TO BE MADE WITH LINE.

Thank you in advance.

M


 

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Thursday 7 December 2017 10.03
To: Miranda, K
Subject: Re: Urgent Positions

Hi M.

(It must be tough juggling your time as HR Manager and Head of MI6)

I just tried to call you to run through these roles. Are you free to speak?

As a matter of course, and because I’m unable to speak to Dave, it’s paramount I get a little more information on the positions before working with you.

Free all day, can fit around your schedule.

Thanks,

Ed


 

From: Miranda, K
Date: Thursday 7 December 2017 10.17
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: RE: Re: Urgent Positions

There’s no need to speak on the phone, the positions are live. Salaries are as stated and we will NOT negotiate to any higher demands.

I haven’t got the time to make small talk on the phone with every recruiter working this role.

Please send CV’s by deadline which is the end of the week.


 

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Thursday 7 December 2017 10.31
To: Miranda, K
Subject: Re: RE: Re: Urgent Positions

Q.

Notice you didn’t deny the MI6 comment, so naturally, I now think you work for MI6. Especially with your stipulation you NEVER negotiate with terrorists. Or, as you call them, ‘candidates with higher salary demands’.

The trouble I have is this…

It’s two weeks before Christmas (not too).

And despite the fact everyone in recruitment thinks this month’s quiet, I run round like a blue arsed fly for clients who are adamant they’ll hire before the break. Some do, but I usually work on retainers with these clients. Otherwise the younguns are left disappointed when they unwrap empty boxes I’ve stolen from the neighbour’s rubbish and filled them with dead cats, an old plaster and 1983 Beano annual. That said, the latter may actually be worth something if you could still make out the writing on the cover.

Anyway, I’ll have a look for you. We shall search on the beaches, we shall search on the landing grounds, we shall search in the fields and in the streets, we shall search in the hills. 

Or, I’ll ask my Researcher if there’s anyone losing the will to live in their ‘Will Take Anything’ folder.

If there are we’ll send them forthwith. Stipulating they expect interviews in January, no sooner. I know one in particular is desperate and not very good, so he should be fine. You might balk at his salary though?

Keep up the good work. And thanks for your service (MI6 not HR).

Ed


 

From: Miranda, K
Date: Thursday 7 December 2017 12:31
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: Urgent Positions

I don’t work for MI6 and don’t appreciate your attempt at humour.

Send any candidates you have and they’ll be considered as long as it’s BEFORE tomorrow PM.

Out of pure curiosity, how much is it? Above the bracket?


From: Ed Hunter
Date: Thursday 7 December 2017 12:33
To: Miranda, K
Subject: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: Urgent Positions

Well the price tags worn off but it’s yours for a fiver?


 

From: Miranda, K
Date: Thursday 7 December 2017 12:37
To: Ed Hunter
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: Urgent Positions

Fairly obviously I didn’t mean the annual, I meant the salary of the candidate.


 

From: Adam, L
Date: Friday 8 December 2017 11:56
To: Miranda, K
CC: Ed Hunter
Subject: CV Submission

Hi Miranda,

PFA two candidates for the two roles sent yesterday to Ed. In accordance with your email the candidates can interview and start immediately.

Please provide feedback on phone or email about next stage.

Kind regards,

Adam


 

From: Adam, L
Date: Wednesday 13 December 2017 15:32
To: Miranda, K
CC: Ed Hunter
Subject: Re: CV Submission

Hi Miranda,

Just chasing up these two CVs to see if there were any thoughts. You’re unavailable on the phone, but would be good to provide feedback even if they’re not of interest.

Kind regards,

Adam


 

From: David, G
Date: Friday 15 December 2017 15:14
To: Adam, L
CC: Miranda, Ed Hunter
Subject: Re: CV Submission

Hi guys,

Miranda sent me this, both look excellent, would love to get them in but I won’t have a chance now before Jan.

Great work though. Feel free to throw a time in my calendar for the new year and I’ll see them both.

If we don’t speak have a great Christmas.

Ed must do beers in Jan.

Dave/’Line’


From: Ed Hunter
Date: Friday 15 December 2016 16:56
To: Miranda, K; Dave G
CC: Adam, L
Subject: RE: Re: CV Submission

Hi Line,

You would have just won me £100. I bet Adam you wouldn’t see these two before Jan. Trouble is, he knows you guys and didn’t take the bet.

I’ll let the candidates know but because we’re good eggs here and can see into the future we told them the role wouldn’t be closed until Jan. Therefore the sudden change in traction won’t deter their enthusiasm.

Have a good one and do send my love to Miranda.

Wish you both good tidings.

Ed


 

From: Miranda, K
Date: Friday 15 December 2017 17:03
To: Ed Hunter, Dave, G
CC: Adam, L
Subject: Re: CV Submission

I’m furious this email chain has continued with Line involved despite my insistence. We have processes here that must be followed.

I’ve told you under no uncertain terms to contact line. And you’ve gone against my wishes. Yet again.

We won’t be continuing with the either of your candidates but will consider their application if they approach us directly.

M.


 

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Friday 15 December 2017 17:37
To: Miranda; Dave, G
CC: Adam, L; Phil, D
Subject: Re: RE: Re: CV Submission

Having read the chain, you probably realised he emailed me? Also, his name’s Dave. Why do you insist on using military nicknames?

On your second point, how about we let the candidates decide? I’ve just blind copied them into this chain. If either of them want to work for you, I won’t chase for a fee – hey, it’s Christmas!

I’m going to take a wild stab in the dark they might not be interested any more. They’re both damn good and Adam did a sterling job for you. For free. Again. Fruitlessly.

All the best in your candidate search. But do me a favour, take me off your list. I really have so much more I’d rather be doing than dealing with your nonsense.

I’ve copied in my Director too btw. He’s not quite MI6, but can spot an idiot when he sees one.

Have a great Christmas.

Dave, let’s talk about your career options over that beer in Jan.

Love Ed.


 

From: David, G
Date: Friday 15 December 2017 17:45
To: Miranda; Ed Hunter
CC: Adam, L; Phil, D
Subject: Re: RE: Re: CV Submission

Ed,

Sounds good.

Merry Christmas mate.


 

From: Rob, R
Date: Monday 18 December 2017 08:01
To: Miranda; Ed Hunter; David G
CC: Adam, L; Phil, D
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: CV Submission

Pretty glad I didn’t bother interviewing here. Thanks for your honesty Ed. Couldn’t be doing with this hassle over just sending an email to a recruiter. Hope I’m not still in the ‘Will Take Anything Drawer’ though?

Rob


 

From: David, G
Date: Monday 18 December 2017 09:23
To: Rob, R; Miranda; Ed Hunter
CC: Adam, L; Phil, D
Subject: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: CV Submission

Stick me in there mate!


From: Miranda
Date: Monday 18 December 2017 09:23
To: David, G; Rob, R; Ed Hunter
CC: Adam, L; Phil, D
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: CV Submission

David can I see you when you’re in please?

M.


 

From: Ed Hunter
Date: Monday 18 December 2017 17:37
To: Miranda; Dave, G
CC: Adam, L; Phil, D
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: CV Submission

Think you might be about to have your licence to email’ revoked Line.

Over and out.