Ed Hunter: 99 Things With Big Biller Energy

Big Biller Energy is the recruitment equivalent of Big D*ck Energy.

Big D*ck Energy (or BDE) is described by the Oxford English Dictionary as “someone who’s confident without cockiness.”

It’s never misplaced and cannot be simulated.

It’s not gender specific and can be found in those who take on the naysayers.

In recruitment, a lot of people have Big Biller Energy. And it’s not necessarily big billers. It doesn’t even have to be human. It could be machine. A cartoon. A logo. A word. A room.

Here’s a non-comprehensive list of 99 things that have Big Biller Energy:

1) A new Resourcer who says anything more than their name in their first morning

2) All office dogs, ever

3) Anyone who interrupts a meeting

4) People who stand up to answer the phone

5) A contractor who hasn’t been paid

6) The ‘close door’ button in lifts

7) The person who signs for deliveries

8) Anyone who drinks a can of coke before 11am

9) Anyone who just says someone’s full name (and nothing else) as an intro on cold calls

10) Anyone who gives ‘the hold finger’ to more senior staff

11) Anyone who takes a headhunt call in an open plan office

12) Anyone who closes a deal on loudspeaker

13) Walkers and talkers

14) Headset wearers

15) Anyone who wears a tie pin

16) Anyone who plays darts on the phone

17) DEFINITELY anyone who plays pool on the phone

18) Women who wear flip flops with suit trousers

19) Anyone who asks someone else to get a candidate on the phone

20) Anyone who doesn’t have their ‘target car’ as the background on their desktop

21) Anyone who shares an Ed Hunter article

22) Anyone who takes over an hour for lunch

23) Anyone who doesn’t go to meetings

24) Anyone who has over 4 off-site meetings a week

25) Anyone ‘on target’

26) Anyone who can confidently say ‘I’m a recruiter’ at BBQs without wincing

27) Anyone who can wind up an online troll whilst chuckling

28) Ed Hunter

29) Non-Billing Managers

30) Billing Managers

31) HR – All levels (lower the chain, higher the energy)

31) Doors that open from being pushed, after you’ve already pulled them

31) Everyone after 16:30 on Friday

32) Every recruiter half an hour after their first placement

33) Squirrels

34) The cleaner as soon as the vacuum turns on

35) Grandfather clocks

36) Anyone who voluntarily wears a thong

37) Exposed brickwork

38) Expletives written on walls in the office

39) Poetry written on walls in toilets

40) Anyone who takes an apple to a meeting

41) People who let others on tubes first

42) People who thank others for letting them on tubes first

43) The beer fridge monitor

44) People who don’t speed up when a door’s being held for them

45) Stress balls

46) Anyone not from London

47) Geese

48) Anyone with a party trick

49) Every mouse living in an office

50) Anyone who cycles to work

51) Anyone who cooks fish in the microwave

52) Anyone who makes only themselves a cuppa

53) Anyone who goes for lunch on their own

54) Anyone who watches Netflix at work

55) Pregnant women

56) The maintenance fella (greasier the overalls, higher the energy)

57) The last person who quit

58) Anyone who calls in sick in their first month

59) Anyone who doesn’t call in sick in their first 12 months

60) Anyone who wears a woollen tank top over a shirt

61) Anyone with a pen in their shirt pocket

62) Anyone who wears shorts to work

63) Anyone who wears flip flops to work

64) Anyone who wears snazzy socks

65) Every L&D Manager ever (longer since last placement, higher the energy)

66) Rec2Recs

67) Anyone who disagrees with Oleg

68) Anyone who agrees with Mitch Sullivan

69) Anyone who walks up an escalator

70) Anyone who looks at someone in the eye, whilst on the phone to someone else

71) Anyone who doesn’t iron their shirt before going to work

72) Anyone who’s ever fallen asleep at their desk

73) Anyone called Sharon, Tracy or Susan who hasn’t taken offence at their names being used as internet examples

74) Anyone who asks to see the Manager

75) Candidates who ghost you

76) Recruiters from every agency other than yours

77) Everyone in the room when an interviewee walks past

78) The hold button

79) Anyone with an alternative to an iPhone or a Samsung

80) The one person in the office who can X-Ray Search

81) Anyone who says “I could’ve made it if it wasn’t for my knee”

82) Anyone with over 12 likes on a LinkedIn post

83) The first person to video a job ad in your company

84) Anyone who doesn’t cry when it only gets 11 likes

85) Anyone named Keith

86) Accounts

87) Anyone who takes the stairs

88) Returning parents the week before they start back at work

89) Anyone who turns their work phone off on holiday

90) Anyone who doesn’t wince when downing shots

91) Round buyers

92) Anyone who doesn’t keep score when buying a round

93) Any Manager who’s never said “It’s like a morgue in here guys, can we pick it up?!”

94) Anyone who presses the ‘redial’ button

95) Anyone who ends an email with ‘regards’

96) Your grandparents when they ask “What’s recruitment then?”

97) Pigeons

98) Anyone who eats food with someone else’s name on it

99) Anyone who leaves the office without a solitary word to anyone

 There are more of course, much more.

Want to know whether you have BBE?

If you’ve got to ask, you haven’t.

Until next time,