One thing the majority of recruiters will experience in their career is changing jobs. There are a few of us (read journeymen) that will experience this more than others.
Much like the first day of school, it’s important to remember certain things that will help you settle. Like not wetting yourself in assembly. The first few days are vitally important to establishing yourself in that new business.
As I’m about to start at a new company – that’s right next week one of you will have Ed Hunter sitting next to you and you’ll have no idea – I thought I’d remind myself of the process I’m about to go through!
Because I was prepping myself, I thought I’d share my pearls of wisdom with you all (for those of you wondering, yes I did use Hunted).
1) You’ll find out who the alpha male is pretty quickly
If he hasn’t already interviewed you and told you how well he’s doing, what car he drives and where he’s just bought a new house… Then he will be amongst the first to introduce himself and ask all about your work history. He’s doing this to obtain enough intel to know whether you’ll be a threat…
TIP: Give a knuckle breaking handshake – and follow up with a LOUD backhanded compliment “Awesome tie! My Grandad’s got one just like it” (ladies I imagine this will have the same effect for the alpha female)
2) You’ll start to regret how much you cursed your old system
It’s a fact: recruitment systems get worse every time you change jobs. They also always pick the consultant who loves the system the most to train you! “so this is how we can tell who’s read our emails and this is where we can predict the likelihood of filling a role” Fantastic but how do I put a candidate on the bloody thing?!
TIP: When no one else is around ask the alpha male for system advice – he’ll love being asked for help so much he’ll forget all about the tie comment – and no one else will forget the moment you shot him down 5 minutes after entering the building (win-win)
3) People will start pissing on keyboards to secure their territory
Much like cats marking their territory – recruiters will try to make it clear early on who are their clients and how much of a claim they have to them.
You’ll sit down with people you’ve been competing against for years and they’ll start subliminally name dropping their clients into the conversation just to let you know they’re hands off.
TIP: Whichever client the consultant seems to want the most just slyly say “oh yeah company ABC… did you work on…. (totally make up a senior job that never happened)” and when you see their confused face just say… “ahh sorry forgot I had that one exclusively” then wait for a second as their pain comes to the surface then drop… “and it was retained”
4) Someone will make the joke “have you done a deal yet?! haha” – (normally within your first hour)
Yeah hilarious mate
TIP: DO NOT LAUGH at this joke. In fact steer well clear of this loser – they’ve probably used the same joke for 4 years running to every new consultant.
5) You’ll want to find the cool kids and infiltrate them asap
So the cool kids aren’t always the biggest billers – but everyone envies their friendship and their ability to be so non-comformist but still be so respected and liked by management!
Get in with this group and you’re set! You won’t be sitting with Alan from accounts at lunch anymore!
TIP: It’s usually pretty obvious who these guys are. But if you check their LinkedIn profile they’ll be the ones that follow Ed Hunter – if you’re struggling to infiltrate them, just forward them some retro Ed Hunter stuff and get the convoy going.
So there you go guys, look out for me coming to a desk near you… hint: I’ll be the Wolf dressed in a suit gunning for the top biller!