The most sensible advice anyone would give you about quitting your job is DON’T GO OVER THE TOP. Think it out. Plan what you’re going to say. Have another job before you quit. Be honest, just don’t go over the top.
There’s a certain amount of irony to be had in a recruitment company begrudging you from “stealing their staff”. Nonetheless, that’s the strange situation I found myself in recently. This because I sent a note to a mate asking how things were going. His boss saw the message. And in no time at all I found myself knee deep in an argument with someone I’ve never met.
I had a rant at shit ads on LinkedIn this week. Mainly because I’m bored of seeing ‘fantastic opportunity’ a thousand times a day. But also, because ads aren’t difficult. Here’s a tip… think about who’s reading them. Why would they they think it’s a fantastic opportunity? Because if you don’t know, you probably shouldn’t be a recruiter. To prove how easy it is, I’ve redone some old classics.
This day is for the modern recruiter. The tweeters. Generation Insta. The self-assured striders, working wireless in dressdown and face tatts. The woke. The wonderfully weird. The brilliantly, bearded, viral vloggers. To fit in, in this brave new world, you need the right tools.
There’s an air of mystery in having a wolf’s head attached to a human body. It drives the ladies wild. The kind of wild that runs to the nearest police officer, screaming silent whimpers.
There comes a time in your career when you receive your first head hunt. The first time it happens you’re shocked. Taken aback. A wave of emotion swarms around you. Is this a test? Has my boss set it up? Who’s watching me?
I don’t like publishing intimate details of my life on this blog. But as a recruiter, that’s where my humour lies. In the everyday scuffles and scrapes. The rucks and mauls that define the life of a rugby player recruiter. They explain better than I could ever manifest independently, just how crazy this job really is. It’s evident in LinkedIn posts. It’s evident in pissed off, masochistic notes left on the database. It’s evident in email chains. It’s evident in Glassdoor reviews. And it’s the last two of those today I’d like to reluctantly advertise.
It’s the age of information. The age of ignorance. The age of give me that thing, right f**king now, I WILL NOT WAIT ANY LONGER. And with the dawn of this age came people who find it hard to process information. They need it quick, to the point, and without waffle. So I’ve done some flow charts.
The Apprentice is back. Apparently. Haven’t seen the show in years, but as a recruiter that’s a bit weird. I mean, if I’m not their target market, who is? This show is recruitment.
There used to be a common understanding amongst those of us in Agency. It was… anyone not good enough for our gruesome world could go on to do quite well ‘Internal’. You might see an old colleague, who didn’t cut the mustard, now spring up working for Facebook. Their title reads Talent Acquisition, where Senior Recruitment Expert once stood, ironically.